Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time.
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A thousand paper cuts
Lampin says,
Is how it feels
When people get it wrong.
Every time I’m misgendered
It feels like a stab to the heart.
But I don’t understand;
I can’t wrap my head around it,
said the older woman in group.
That’s okay,
I can explain it to you,
Anytime you wish,
Lampin said, kindly, smiling.
I’m going to make a mistake,
said the woman.
I’m going to be another paper cut.
No, I’ll understand,
Lampin said.
A simple apology works
When you get it wrong.
When people bend over and apologize,
That’s even worse.
I see, said the woman.
But when a person uses “they and them”
I feel seen … respected, said Lampin.
I see, said the woman.
It’s not binary, said Lampin.
There isn’t just male and female.
But it’s not my job to educate people;
That’s not okay either.
I see, said the woman.
It’s recent, said another man.
It’s been around forever, said Lampin.
It’s just more exposed now.
I still don’t understand, said the woman.
Lampin wants you to get her,
Said the same man.
Them, said Lampin. It’s “get them.”
Them, said the man. I’m sorry.
That’s okay, said Lampin.
Lampin smiled.
Just another paper cut.
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