Community Focus

back to November 2024 newsletter 

SCV-CAMFT Director-at-Large Vidur Malik speaks with Saru Sivanesan, LMFT, about his transition from the tech world to psychotherapy, and about how to connect with and support tech workers.

VM: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do, including any clinical specialties?

SS: My name is Sarangan Sivanesan. Everybody calls me Saru. I was a software engineer for 20-plus years, working in Silicon Valley and elsewhere. My bachelor's is in mathematics and computer science, and then had an epiphany at one point in my life and decided to change my career. I went to the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, now called Sofia University and did my counseling psychology degree there. My focus is working with software engineers and people in the tech field, because I really understand them. I get their problems. Whatever they say, the lingo they use, there’s no explanation needed. I work with a lot of anxiety, depression, complex PTSD, and addiction. I’m trauma trained in EMDR. I work with somatic modalities, some IFS, of course, CBT, DBT, and psychodynamic.

VM: Could you share what your personal epiphany was that led you to the career change?

SS: I was working in software engineering and looking for change. I could just feel something was coming. I went on a soul searching journey to South America. It was during that time when somebody pointed out to me and said ‘Hey, have you thought about being in counseling, you might be really good at this.’ I really liked to mentor people and had two close friends, who were already in the counseling field. In December 2007, I walked into ITP for an open house. And the moment I walked in, I was like, ‘Oh yeah, this is the place.’ It was just very clear.

VM: As you made your way into the field, what drew you to specializing in working with tech workers?

SS: It was as part of that epiphany. It became very clear that I'm meant to work with this population. If I asked my clients ‘how do you feel,’ their first response is ‘I think I feel…’ If you’re thinking about your feeling, then we have some education to do here. I was that person 20 years ago. I just thought, ‘okay, this is something, there is a gap there.’

VM: There is this kind of stereotype that like people in tech are logic-based, and not as much feeling based. What are your thoughts on that idea?

SS: That's a great question. I think it's a stereotype and a myth that we need to debunk in many ways. I mean, it's true from the outside perspective because that's how all techies relate - ’What is that program? What's that protocol?’ This is how we talk about things. Many people in the tech industry are from Asian origin, where from the time you’re a kid, you are trained to think logically. And that doesn’t mean they don’t have the capacity to feel. They do have feelings. It's just that it’s not given an importance. So once you start creating that balance and allowing people the space to say, hey, it's okay to feel. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel hurt. That a nominal part of the human experience. And let’s talk about some boundaries and different things. Then it becomes a safer to really explore that problem.

VM: What are some ways that you’ve found are helpful to get a client to lean more into their feelings?

SS: I use myself because it’s a lot safer coming from a third party rather than them having to do it themselves. If somebody had a breakup, I might say ‘If I were you, I’d be feeling sad right now’ They don’t have to access that themselves. They access it through me. Another thing I do is I will pull out a feeling sheet and go ‘let me be sad, some feelings. Just nod if this resonates for you.’ Those are two things that I do use initially because it really opens the door to create some safety and to really titrate into feelings. There’s a lot of homework, learning to access feelings, learning to track the sensation in the body and then map the feeling to the sensation and know this is how it feels in the body. The next is the reactivity to the feeling. People are reactive to the feeling because they don’t know what to do with it. So then it’s creating a gap between the feeling and themselves so that there’s no reaction, there’s no backlash. I’m feeling upset and I’m okay. It’s uncomfortable, but I’m okay. Yeah, there’s like a gradual aspect of it, and an intentionality of only going where the client feels like they can go and then sitting with it.

VM: Do you self-disclose your own background in tech with clients to help them?

SS: Absolutely. I self-disclose because then it’s a familiar thing. It is a familiarity and that connection is very important and I also tell them right away. “I want you to feel connected to me and if at the end of this call you don’t connect then let me know, no harm done.’ I also self- disclose my own personal journey and trauma, anything that is relevant to the client. This area where we live is very individual-driven. Everybody’s here to make the money and strike big. They have community, but the community is with an intention to make connections to do good in their work. Nobody really sits down in the community and opens up and talks about how depressed they feel or how anxious they feel, so quite often people feel very alone in their misery. So I just bring myself into the room and I tell them, you’re your therapist and I feel sad/anxious too at times.’ I try to create an even field and where therapists and client are both human.

VM: What would you say to them to a clinician who may be anxious about working with tech workers to help their clients feel comfortable?

SS: it is so natural for me because I'm part of that tribe. For an arts or psychology major, somebody who’s not a science-oriented person, they also are a great value for this population in the therapeutic community. Someone who is more reflective, they bring in another aspect of the psyche that is very needed too. One of the most important things is to understand that sometimes people in tech can present very linear and driven and type A, but there’s an amazing softer gentler human side to them that can be brought out. It’s being able to look past this initial presentation to what is behind that is what invites that into the room, Being able to do that would be the one of the best ways to connect – connecting with some aspects of tech is useful being informed, but going beyond what is in the forefront of their expression and their expressiveness to what is behind – which is the beauty of the human being.

VM: Is there anything else to share about the work you do or about how clinicians do similar work that maybe we didn’t get to that you’d like to speak to?

SS: One of the things to understand when working with tech folks is that even though it does look like the life is very rich and wealthy, there’s a lot that goes on underneath it that is very stressful, even though it does look like the life is very rich and wealthy, there’s a lot that goes on underneath it that is very stressful. I’ve worked with clients who make a bunch of money and from the outside it looks good, but their life is extremely stressful. I think it's really important to have a lot of compassion for what it takes to be at that level. I know people who work at companies like Apple, Microsoft and Google, and the demands are very high. From a therapeutic perspective, we might say, ‘oh, you have a choice, you can go do something else.’ But it takes a long time to make that shift. I’m very fortunate. I had that epiphany and listened to it. I made the shift, but often people don’t make that shift. So I think it’s important to have that compassion.

back to October 2024 newsletter 
Vidur Malik speaks with Cindy Gum, an LMFT, playwright, and co-facilitator of the SCV-CAMFT Licensed Therapists Support Group, about how to support older clients with the many life transitions they experience.

Cindy Gum has been in private practice for 25 years. She co-leads the CAMFT Licensed Therapists Support Group with Nasrin Farr and has recently served as a Supervisor at CHAC in Mountain View. Cindy has written four plays on aging and end-of-life, hosted a public access TV show Healthy Aging, and enjoys writing. She is now refocusing on what she loves most: working in the sand. An avid traveler, she recently visited India and Africa, and she finds joy in her extended 'modern' family. One of her guiding philosophies is, "When the dream changes, change the dream"—and so she has.

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do, along with any clinical specialties?

Cindy: I’m a marriage and family therapist with 25 years of experience. I'm really redirecting now toward doing what I love, which is working in the sand with people going through transitions. I currently work from my home office, where I specialize in supporting older adults in transition and teaching Experiential Sand Tray Therapy—a unique approach I developed for working with adolescents and adults.

Vidur: What gave you the idea that Sand Tray work could be helpful?

Cindy: To me, the sand tray offers a powerful way for individuals to safely hold and explore their story. It provides a sense of containment, allowing people to confront their experiences without being overwhelmed. I truly believe that one of the most important things any of us can do is to know we can hold our story without feeling like we’ll ‘fall apart.’ It’s challenging, but once you realize you can hold your story with compassion and respect, it no longer feels larger than you—you become the author, rather than the other way around.

Vidur: For many older clients, I imagine life feels like one constant transition—retirement, losing a partner, or mobility challenges.

Cindy: Absolutely. They're often overwhelmed by many transitions, and it takes a toll. The constant adjustments wear them out emotionally and physically. I like to help my older clients safely examine how their story impacts their life and the transitions in the present.

Vidur: What drew you to working with older clients and end-of-life issues?

Cindy: My connection with this population grew from personal experience, especially after my husband’s spinal cord stroke in 2006. He was 13 years older than me, and over the years, I became more involved with the unique challenges facing older adults. Now, as someone approaching her eighth decade, I feel deeply connected to their experiences—I am my own ideal client.

Vidur: You were recently certified by Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. What projects are you currently working on?

Cindy: My journey as a long-term caregiver led me to Compassion meditation, which eventually connected me with the Stanford Ambassador program. I created a pilot project—a journaling circle for family caregivers. After a successful year, I expanded it into a free monthly Zoom Journaling Circle at BreathingSpacesfc.com, open to anyone wanting to become a better caregiver to themselves. I also contribute a monthly blog to their newsletter and am currently writing Caregiving YOU, a book that offers practical tools for self-nurturing through self-acceptance, connection, compassion, and trust.

Vidur: In your experience, what have been some of the most effective ways to help older clients feel seen and heard in session?

Cindy: Deep listening is key. I use reflection to validate their decision to seek support, and I allow their story to unfold naturally. This approach helps build trust and opens the door for them to share their needs.

Vidur: What should clinicians keep in mind when working with aging clients who are also caregivers for another aging person?

Cindy: It’s crucial not to assume that the person they’re caring for is necessarily a 'loved one.' Long-term caregiving, especially in marriages or with chronic illness, can create complex emotional landscapes. Caregivers often feel exhausted and frustrated, struggling with their unmet needs while tending to someone else’s. These caregivers need validation, emotional support, and resources. You might direct them to local support groups or online platforms like BreathingSpacesfc.com, which offer free, accessible support circles.

Vidur: What advice would you give to younger therapists who may not have much experience working with aging clients?

Cindy: Building a trusting relationship is key. Listen deeply, and don’t be afraid to acknowledge your age difference by saying something like, ‘I know I’m younger, but I’m here to support you.’ Older clients are life experts—they have so much to teach us. Sometimes, they just need someone to listen. Hearing loss can also impact communication and intimacy. I struggled for a long time to name it, but I eventually called it ‘verbal intimacy.’ When that connection is cut off, it can create a feeling of disconnection. So, be curious, listen, and meet them where they are, just as you would with any other client.

References:

● "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" by Atul Gawande

This book explores the challenges of aging and dying, focusing on the human experience and the emotional complexities that come with growing older. Gawande blends storytelling with medical insight, making it a compassionate and thought-provoking read on what it means to live well until the end.

● "The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully" by Joan Chittister

Chittister, a Benedictine nun and author, reflects on the spiritual and emotional dimensions of aging. The book is divided into short, meditative chapters that explore different aspects of growing older, including accepting change, finding meaning, and embracing the richness of later years.

● "The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent" by Barry J. Jacobs

While focusing on caregivers, this book addresses the emotional strains of aging, chronic illness, and caregiving. Jacobs offers practical advice on how to manage stress and maintain emotional well-being while supporting an aging loved one, making it relevant for both caregivers and those navigating their own aging journey.

● "Successful Aging: A Neuroscientist Explores the Power and Potential of Our Lives" by Daniel J. Levitin

Written by a neuroscientist, this book blends research with practical advice on how to maintain cognitive and emotional health as we age. It emphasizes how high-functioning older adults can make the most of their later years by staying engaged, curious, and connected.

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To commemorate National Recovery Month, SCV-CAMFT Director-at-Large Vidur Malik speaks with Mary Crocker Cook, a therapist, addiction counselor, educator, and author, about how to support clients in recovery from addiction.

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do along with any specialties?

Mary: My name is Mary Crocker Cook. I'm a licensed marriage family therapist and licensed addiction counselor. I have been licensed since 1988, and I have always worked in addiction and mental health at the same time.

My private practice is largely general, but I have always taught and worked in addiction. I teach at San Jose City College and run their Alcohol and Drug Studies program

Vidur: What drew you to working in addiction treatment?

Mary: I became licensed in the late 80s. That was when all of the adult child of alcoholic books came out. My clients were all bringing them in and I started reading them and recognized myself, and started on my own recovery journey. In 1990 or so, I was at a network meeting with the clinical supervisor for the El Camino Substance Use Department. I asked her if I could volunteer because I wanted to know what happened in residential treatment. I wound up staying until they closed for about two and a half years. Out of that, I developed academic programs and my own expertise and addiction and just fell in love with it.

Vidur: Are there particular principles that you think should be part of addiction treatment?

Mary: The main thing is motivational interviewing and making sure that people are engaged at their stage of change. The biggest mistake we've made over the years is mismatching our level of care to people's level of willingness. Then people feel like they fail treatment. That's not true. But they failed that level of care because that's not what they wanted.

I'm an ASAM fanatic. In my own private practice when I work with addicts I do the ASAM because I think the multi-dimensional approach is key.

Looking at people's early attachment style is going to also help you figure out how to engage.

I'm on sabbatical for the year from City College because I'm writing my textbook on Attachment -Infused Addiction Treatment based on my own little outpatient here because I also teach codependency from attachment theory.

Vidur: Was there a moment in time when you first noticed the link between attachment style and addiction?

Mary: I have been teaching codependency from this framework for a long time because I kept seeing a combination of developmental history and then behavioral strategies and then medical or immune system damage in all my codependent clients. About five years ago, I started really focusing on addiction from that perspective.

Vidur: How would you say that framework helps clients get insight into their addiction?

I think it makes sense to them. My tagline is, ‘when vodka makes more sense than people.’ I think they get that. They've been through treatment multiple times, it's not that they have an information problem. The problem is application and how their interactions with other people continue to sabotage their use because usually it's a relationship that takes them out.

Vidur: Something I've heard from clinicians is ‘how do I know when a substance use issue is within my scope of practice? And when do I have to refer out to more targeted treatment?’ Are there ways that you can recommend that a clinician can delineate that for themselves?

Mary: My favorite way to do it, even though I'm a specialist, is to have them evaluated by somebody else, and I say, let's do whatever they recommend. So clinicians can send clients over to a treatment center who will do an assessment. That allows them to stay connected to the client before and after treatment.

The other possibility is to say to somebody, ‘what are you willing to do?’ And you start with that. The thing that kills me is people who had bazillion years of therapy and the therapist never said anything. The important thing to me is that they call it. ‘I see the drinking's part of the picture here. Sounds like you're not willing to do much about that, but when I notice it, I will mention it.’

If you cannot do that, you need to refer. if you're afraid to talk about it, or it's too sensitive, or you're going to be weird about it, OK. Send it to somebody who's not afraid of the topic.

Vidur: When working with someone experiencing addiction, what should success look like? Should it always be about relapse prevention?

Mary: I think moving through the stages of change is the goal. It depends on how the client identifies as a substance user. My question is, what's your relationship to substances? What do you think is going on with you in terms of substances? I'm trying to get a sense of what role it plays in their life. The whole point of addiction is you don't connect the dots. Like life is the problem. Alcohol is a solution. They don't see that it connects.

Vidur: How can clinicians build comfort with calling out clients?

Mary: I think they have to see it as a disease and not a symptom. It kills people. What clinicians are worried about is damaging the relationship. They would if they were blaming, but you can look at it out of curiosity, because my worst fear is I'm missing something. I'll even say to people, ‘I'm going to keep asking you this because my worst fear is you're paying me good money and there's a big piece of this puzzle I'm not addressing.’ It's a piece of the puzzle I have to have to be effective in what I'm doing.

Vidur: Is there anything else you’d like to mention that clinicians should know about?

Mary: Something I want to mention is that I am very worried about how many DUIs are in our CAMFT magazine every month.

I teach ethics and I always start with what not to do. I take out the magazine, and I'm like, Oh my god, DUI, DUI, DUI. I'm worried about us.

I think that therapists really don't see substances as a problem for themselves. If I don't think it's a problem for me, I am surely not going to see it for my clients. I don't recognize that I shouldn't be behind the wheel. I might have a little bit of a blind spot.

Also, we need dually certified professionals. We need therapists to go get certification as addiction counselors. We don't have enough of us. Addiction treatment is an actual animal in and of itself.

Vidur: What can therapists do to get certified as addiction counselors?

Mary: In Santa Clara County, you could come over to San Jose City College and take our classes. They can do the certification program online through the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals.

back to September 2024 newsletter  

References

Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody

This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life by Annie Grace

The Science of Addiction: From Neurobiology to Treatment by Carlton K. Erickson Ph.D. 

Understanding Addiction: Know Science, No Stigma by Dr. Charles Smith

(3655) everything you thought you knew about addiction is wrong - YouTube

How Childhood Trauma Leads to Addiction - Gabor Maté (youtube.com)

back to August 2024 newsletter 
In honor of National Women’s Equality Day, SCV CAMFT Director-at-Large Vidur Malik speaks with Liz Ojeda, AMFT, about the work she does with female clients who have experienced trauma, violence, and oppression. They also discuss the impact of self-disclosure and therapist vulnerability on the therapeutic relationship.

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do along with any specialties?

Liz: I'm Liz. I use she/they pronouns and I take a lot of pride in openly acknowledging that I am queer and Mexican American. Currently I primarily work with survivors of sexual assault, who tend to be women. I help my clients get to the roots of where the trauma and violence are coming from and how that’s showing up in their behaviors.

Vidur: What drew you to working with people who have experienced trauma and violence?

Liz: I started this work really at a domestic violence shelter in undergrad and I've built my way from there. I've done some crisis counseling and went back to a domestic violence (DV) agency in San Mateo. Before I ended up at the group practice I'm with now, I worked primarily with students, mostly in environments where there was a lot of community violence. I did a lot of sex education with students.

A lot of it was also personal experience - seeing it within my family, and then within my community. I went through the training and I found it really enlightening because it gave me language for a lot of the patterns I didn't notice.

Vidur: What drew you to working with female clients in particular?

Liz: Rewinding again to like my own personal narrative, it wasn't until I was older when I noticed some patterns from my grandparents, and then my mom, and then how that carried over to myself and my younger sister. When I learned about my grandmother’s history of how she immigrated to America - she's first generation, she wasn't documented - all of these different parts of her identity helped me get a better understanding of what expectations were placed on her. All of this helped shape my understanding of the roots of violence. For female-identified folks, the amount of history and the amount of trauma that we hold and suppress can show up in our bodies, so I do a lot of somatic work.

Vidur: What are some ways that clinicians can build trust and safety with clients, especially early on with a client who's just experienced a lot of trauma and violence, to make sure we’re not perpetuating systemic oppression they may have experienced?

Liz: When I read this question, I first went to, ‘what is safety? What does that mean?’ I think it's the capacity to feel free and to show up with whatever is coming up. I'm not going to push you to talk about one thing or the other. That helps build that safe environment. I let clients know that there's so much that they probably don't feel like they have control over at any given point in time, but when they're with me, at the very least, they should be able to control what's talked about and what's not, and when they talk about whatever they want to talk about. I find that's a really cool intervention.

Vidur: How do you approach self-disclosure in session?

Liz: I'm not here to hide who I am. It’s taken a long time for me to really own the parts that I was ashamed of in the past. I like to think of that as role modeling. I'm a bit more open with self-disclosure, but I'm not telling everything. I'm not here to make it about me.

Especially for female-identified folks, I think it's so important to just say, ‘me too, you're not crazy. What you're feeling makes total sense.’ The world sucks sometimes. I want to walk down the street and feel safe, and I can't always do that.

Vidur: Would you recommend for male-identifying clinicians working with female identifying clients to name that gender difference in session and invite clients to process it? I’m particularly wondering about cases where female-identifying clients have experienced trauma perpetuated by men.

Liz: As we say for everything, it’s on a case-by-case basis. But for male-identified clinicians or really anyone, if you feel like there's some discomfort in naming it, you probably should name it. If you feel if something is telling you to address it, I don't think it would hurt to name that. Be curious about the client’s experience happening in the room, but also pause and reflect on why this is showing up.

Something I really value in this work is also just taking accountability. In relationships, there's always going to be harm done, some kind of rupture. And I think part of that as well is being mindful of our histories. That can lead to the modeling of vulnerability of ‘I messed up and I want to take ownership of that.’

Vidur: In our training, we often hear that we shouldn’t self-disclose. There’s almost an unlearning I’ve had to do of that when I think of self-disclosing in session. I wonder if you’ve had a similar experience.

Liz: Yes. Something in me was like, ‘I'm going to sneak in like who I am’ because that's how we build connection and that sense of belonging. When a client really like tugs on my own thread or if I'm tearing up in session I'm going to let them know, if appropriate, ‘wow, that really touched me. I'm not going to hide that because I think that perpetuates the idea of the client having to suppress it.

Vidur: Was there anything else you wanted to share?

Liz: We can’t do this work alone. Some pain is meant to be felt with another person. We can’t always hold everything alone. That’s when we feel isolated and scared. There’s a lot of unknown. That’s scary, but sitting with that and creating spaces with each other, with ourselves, and with clients helps us bring it back to, ‘how is this showing up for me?’ As we continue to do our own individual healing work, it’s going to help lead to greater shifts within our community.

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Interview with Gia Reyes, LMFT by Vidur Malik, LMFT, Director at Large

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do, along with any specialties:

Gia: My name is Gia Reyes, I'm a first-generation immigrant and LMFT. I specialize in immigration-related mental health issues such as cultural and generational conflicts, migration trauma like the sense of losing one's identity, culture and traditions, and intergenerational trauma, especially for second or third-generation clients or clients with refugee lineage.

Vidur: What motivated you to specialize in working with clients who are experiencing immigration-related mental health issues?

Gia: Being an immigrant myself and knowing how overwhelming and anxiety-provoking moving to another country can be, I really felt that my life experiences and academic learnings provided me a unique lens through which I could assist similar immigrants make some sense of their new life. First-generation immigrants of a certain age have usually lived a ‘life’ in their country of origin and have ‘paid their dues’ in a certain industry, only to find themselves unable to practice in the US due to lack of accreditation or licensing. That alone can cause severe depression and anxiety, even an existential crisis.

Also, having lived here for a few years in my early 20s as a foreign student, I became acutely aware of the huge difference in my experience then and coming back in my early 40s with two kids below the age of 10. It is really fascinating how as an immigrant you experience the same place very differently at different stages of your life.

As a mom, I suddenly found myself doubling down on making sure my kids understood the Filipino language, ate Filipino food and ensured they were aware of the culture, beliefs and traditions, if not adhere to them. Having had the privilege of being able to travel at a young age and being exposed to different cultures, it was still very jarring to have to raise children with very different metrics from what I knew as a child. I knew that for a lot of immigrants, who probably also had a language barrier to hurdle besides the disparity in cultures, the challenges could turn overwhelming on a dime. I was sure that there were so many immigrants who needed help.

Vidur: Do you find that there are commonalities in the immigrant experience, regardless of where in the world you're immigrating from?

Gia: That's such an interesting question because a lot of immigrants come from collectivist cultures where you basically move as a ‘tribe’, and the goals and well-being of the group at large is oftentimes given more priority than individual goals. Then you come to the US, and it's a very individualistic culture, and the second and third-generation family members experience so much internal conflict because of the opposing views of family vis-a-vis American society.

Yes, I've discovered that there are so many commonalities with immigrants regardless of where in the world they come from. Then as you peel away layers, you start to see the nuances of a specific culture.

I have a lot of clients who, whether first, second or third-generation immigrants, experience and/or inflict intergenerational trauma to the next generation, that my mind is truly blown away. And as I’m sure most immigrant therapists have experienced, there is a unique advantage to having that lived experience of growing up in another culture, especially a collectivist culture. There is an innate understanding of certain ‘rules’, such as unquestioned reverence for elders and how it is almost incomprehensible to go against what the family has always believed in or done, even if your Western mind knows, ‘this is so toxic.’

Vidur: In your experience, how do clients figure out how to preserve their cultural identity from where they lived before while adjusting to where they're living now?

Gia: I try to introduce the idea of the “third identity,” as renowned Indian-American psychoanalyst Salman Akhtar has very brilliantly coined - because it is really a “third identity.”

I still recall what a Peruvian professor of mine in grad school said, “I feel more American when I’m in Peru and I feel more Peruvian when I’m in the US.” It blew my mind because it totally resonated with me! There is this sense of not fully belonging anywhere, of being in some space that is unknown. . . a space with no label. Hence the need to ‘integrate’ all the parts of ‘you’, to have trust and confidence in this “third identity.” That is your core and authentic self.

Almost organically, I have leaned into the therapeutic modalities of Internal Family Systems, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Trauma-focused Therapy.

Vidur: What would you say are the best ways for clinicians to ensure that clients who have recently immigrated to the US feel safe in session and feel fully seen and heard?

Gia: I think that in most cases, especially for new immigrants, it is a better fit to find an immigrant therapist. Just because intuitively, an immigrant therapist would know how to address sensitive topics that a non-immigrant therapist may not deem so, and also know the stigma that therapy might have in the client’s country of origin.

I would recommend listening for a couple of sessions, just asking questions and refrain from giving any opinion until you have done some research into the particular culture. Luckily, we live in the Bay Area where the population is so diverse that it is not a stretch to find resources on practically every ethnicity in the world.

Vidur: What has your experience been like in terms of finding your own identity after your immigration experience?

Gia: It has not been an easy road for me either, let me start with that! I had a thriving business in the Philippines but because of the political and economic uncertainty then, I felt the need to seize an opportunity that presented itself, to establish a life with my kids in North America.

Then after my divorce, I seriously thought of going back to the Philippines but my kids, who at that point had spent more than half their lives in the US, were basically opting to stay here. The Asian mom in me kicked in, because I wasn’t going to leave them alone here! And that is when I had to really assess and determine what I wanted to do ‘for the rest of my life.’

So I decided to go back to graduate school, get licensed as a psychotherapist, go into private practice and hopefully help other people, particularly immigrants, find happiness and joy in their life. I want to think that my “third act” is also my way of manifesting the idea that ‘older’ immigrants can reinvent themselves. It takes a lot of gumption, but I believe all immigrants have that.

Gia Reyes is a LMFT in private practice. . . she is also a mom, writer, foodie, avid gardener and energy healer. In her mid-fifties, she decided to pursue a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and took on the daunting task of 3,000 hours of internship, getting licensed as her sixth decade was approaching. Gia is a firm believer that her lived experiences of being an entrepreneur, consultant for several multinationals, living in different countries and just “bouncing back when necessary,” greatly complements therapeutic modalities like Internal Family Systems, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, DBT and ACT.

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Interview with Alex MacKenzie, LMFT by Vidur Malik, LMFT, Director at Large

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do?

Alex: I work primarily in private practice. I do a lot of couples work, which is really my favorite thing. I do work with a lot of LGBTQIA+ folks and I also have gotten really interested in working with what I like to call mid-adulthood or “third act” stage of life. I love working with people who are intentional about how they use this last part of adulthood – whether that's retiring, refocusing their career, whatever is meaningful and fulfilling for them. 

The intersection of those – that's kind of my favorite place– when I can work with LGBTQIA+ couples who are in that sweet spot of their life and identifying what that looks like for them as a couple. 

Vidur: How did you realize that was the sweet spot for you?

Alex: Well, honestly, it matches my personal experience. 
I had a sobering experience with getting a cancer diagnosis and so that brought things into sharper focus in terms of recognizing that I don't have the luxury of saying, “Well, maybe I'll do that later.” In mid-adulthood, you're at a time in your life where you don't really have that luxury. But it's an interesting paradox because limitations are really liberating in that they really clarify  this is the time – right now, and either you're going to do it or you're not. 

The third act is a sweet spot in that it’s the wisest, most fearless, most curious point in life. It can be a moment when you have less to prove, and the unneeded armor falls away, treating you to the joy of being the most authentic version of yourself.  

Vidur: What do you particularly enjoy about working with clients in that stage of life in a couples setting? 

Alex: My simple answer to that is I love “love.” I find it really inspiring to help people who may have become a little alienated from each other or who may not be communicating optimally to find that place where they can love each other and support each other in whatever their individual and collective pursuits are, and live the life they truly want. 

Vidur: What drew you to working with the LGBTQIA+ community in particular?

Alex: One thing is identification. Another is when I was going through my graduate program and doing my first internships, it was the community’s moment of reckoning with the AIDS crisis. 

I was in San Francisco at that time and I saw a lot of need and a lot of suffering and alienation. Sometimes crises bring people closer together, and sometimes they push people apart. I really wanted to be a part of the coming together and healing whatever ruptures could be could be healed. At that time, multiple traumas were playing out at the same time. We didn't know what caused AIDS, and gay men were dealing with this horrible question, ‘does my love kill me or kill somebody else?’ There was a lot of division and judgment about, ‘well if those people weren't doing those activities then we wouldn't be having this problem’ and kind of other-ing parts of the community. There was a lot of negative energy pointed at the gay community and even within the community there was a lot of, ‘I'm going to get my safety by differentiating myself from that part of the community, which is seen as objectionable.’

I really wanted to be part of working with people however I could, in groups, individually, and couples to heal some of those ruptures. 

Vidur: How have you found that therapy has helped heal some of those wounds? 

Alex: Therapy helps people who grew up with trauma - including the trauma of having to hide from your parents who you are, the trauma of feeling like society is hostile toward you and that you’re not safe - examine those thoughts and say, ‘well, there are places where I can be safe.’

Realizing that there are relationships where we can be safe and be okay. Accepting that our partners are not looking at us the way that some hostile parts of society does, or the way that a family may have,  if the family was rejecting. So reducing some of that defensiveness where it's not needed by re -examining –   reappraising those kinds of beliefs. 

And of course,  communication, helping people learn how to listen to each other with empathy, and teaching couples how to listen to each other and how to assert themselves heals ruptures and builds bonds. 

Vidur: What are some things that you would recommend for clinicians working with LGBTQIA+ clients to do to make sure that their clients feel safe with them? 

Alex: The first thing I think is that if you identify as LGBTQIA+ to come out to your patients, to let that be visible on your website or however you make yourself known. If you're LGBTQIA+ identified, then one of the first things I would say is to ask your clients if they feel you’re an appropriate clinician for them. It's legitimate to feel like you want to work with somebody who can understand you, and while you don’t have to come from the exact same experience to understand, it’s important to at least open up that conversation. 

I would say the next thing is to explore your own biases and work to expose yourself to information that contradicts those biases and acknowledge how and when they come up. It’s hard not to make assumptions that you understand things that you may not – our biases are insidious in that they just seem true. We all have them.

There’s a thin line between being open to learning from clients about their culture or their experience versus having them have to do the emotional labor of teaching you. I would advise just being aware of that line. It’s important to continue to check with yourself and your clients about how you're navigating that line. 

Vidur: As a gay man, I'm wondering whether you've noticed a parallel process in terms of the trauma that you might have had to deal with and whether that comes up when you support your clients with their trauma? 

Alex: Yeah– Isn’t it for all of us the lifelong unwinding of our own trauma?. There are some times when clients are talking about something that stimulates my own triggers in some way, and I have to use what I know about managing my own trauma response. I might feel tearful, for example, or even angry on their behalf.

Sometimes, something comes up that I'll just disclose, ‘I really relate to what you're saying, this is kind of triggering for me. Let me just acknowledge that and we'll work through it as best we can,’ and I try not to make that the client's job, of course. 

Vidur: How meaningful has it been to support the LGBTQIA+ community and the healing that you wanted to contribute to? Is that something you think about? 

Alex: Thanks for asking that because it's really something that's part of this life stage - looking back and asking, ‘how satisfied am I with what I've done?’

I feel rewarded, validated, and happy when I think of where the community has come and what we’ve achieved. Most of us of my age and many who are a bit younger never thought we'd have a serious conversation about marriage equality, and the fact that we today have marriage equality is quite amazing. 

I do like to think that our work as therapists has contributed to where the community has come to today. The fact that young people –  12, 13, 14 years old are self-identifying and there's growing understanding that gender is on a spectrum is amazing. We’ve created the safety to have some of those conversations. 

Part of satisfaction is acceptance of my own limitations. I sure wish I’d come pre-loaded with all the learning of these years, because I could have helped more, could have done better. 

Occasionally I'll run into a client or a couple (I worked with), and just seeing that they made it is just amazingly satisfying. 

As a community, we still have a long way to go. We are evolving, growing, encountering new challenges, and having to re-fight some old battles. I’m still here for it.  

Alex Mackenzie, MFT is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been licensed for more than 30 years.  He works with a diverse population, and has special interest in working with the LGBTQIA+ community of which he is a member, with age 50+ persons making the most of their "third acts", and with couples.  Alex volunteers as a board member for SCV CAMFT, and as a clinical consultant for Almaden Valley Counseling. He is an avid reader and writer, and rabid downhill skier and spends as much time as possible in the healing natural environment.   His website is alexmackenziemft.com

References:  

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Counseling -- Gottman Julie and John\
The Courage to Be Disliked -- Kishimi, Ichiro and Fumitake Koga
Learning to Love Midlife -- Conley, Chip
Stonewall Generation: LGBTQ Elders on Sex, Activism, and Aging -- Fleishman, Jane and Kate Bornstein

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Interview with Siobhan Cassidy, LCSW by Vidur Malik, LMFT, Director at Large

Vidur: Could you please introduce yourself and the work you do?

Siobhan: My name is Siobhan Cassidy. I'm a licensed clinical social worker. I'm originally from New York. About five years ago, I moved to California and transferred my license. Originally, I was in San Diego. I just got to the San Mateo County area in October of last year. I'm excited to be a part of this chapter and get to know people as I’m moving my practice here. I specialize in young people, kiddos, and teens, and specifically grief and life transitions. Sometimes that comes up as a formal grief, but many times it also comes up as grief of friendships, transitions from elementary to middle school, or in thinking that their college journey didn't turn out.

Vidur: What initially drew you to working with a child population? Within that, what drew you specifically to supporting children with different types of grief?

Siobhan: It was by accident. I was in graduate school in New York, working with addictions, family members, and high schoolers. It was during a time of significant heroin and opiate abuse, and the dying part of it and the people who are left behind. With my second practicum, I always wanted to work in health care, so I worked at the Cancer Institute in New York. That was all ages. I loved working with kids. I find it to be easier. They are little superheroes.

Vidur: What in particular makes working with kids easier than other populations?

Siobhan: Kids just want to play. There is this innate curiosity about them, whereas when we grow older, we get stuck in our ways. With kids, I just find it a little bit more approachable, and maybe that's also my personality.

Vidur: I noticed your website is really refreshing in terms of the language and acknowledging that much of therapy terminology can feel condescending or not very real. What was it like for you to come up with your descriptions of who you are and the work you do?

Siobhan: Thank you for that. It came from my patients. Ever since the pandemic, there's been this influx of therapists on social media. Now kids are coming in and they're saying, ‘my parents are narcissists’ and things like that. How can I get something that could be complex down to the nitty gritty so you know what you're getting in session? This is also how I speak, so I wanted that to flow over my marketing so they know what they're getting.

Vidur: I would imagine that working with death and really heavy issues like cancer, you have to just be real about it, and you can't really beat around it.

Siobhan: I’ve actually had feedback from my patients saying they need the directness in death. For example, if I have a patient who lost their wife, that person is no longer married, and saying it directly gives language for something that's new.

Vidur: Do you think that that shows up in working with kids too, acknowledging the elephant in the room?

Siobhan: It's interesting with kids because it's almost like they're already there. Kids are in these environments are surrounded by adults telling them how to think. Instead, they want the truth and they want to talk about things that are real for them. I almost find that if you just give them permission, welcome it, or model it, they themselves will then come out and find the words. If they don't have the words, that's okay because then we can do expressive arts or we can make words up.

Vidur: What else has come up for you as unique challenges of working with child populations that maybe aren't there with adults or other populations?

Siobhan: It's very difficult to be a young person. They're this individual human being that was born into this world. Then they're around these adults who have to say no a lot to keep them safe. They also have to maybe go to a school that they don't want to go to, be around people they don't want to be around. There's a lot of “no.” The way I approach that is by giving them permission to be themselves. They can tell me ‘no’ and practice saying ‘no.’ Here is a ‘yes’ area.

Vidur: We've all had some experience working with kids, and  a lot of clinicians get nervous about it. What are some things that you’ve found are the best ways to make therapy engaging and relevant for kids as opposed to an obligation?

Siobhan: I think it's rolling with the resistance. It's rolling with the idea that some of them might not want to talk. and they might want to sabotage it. I've also had children test me, ‘who are you? what do you like? why are you going to ask these questions and I don't know anything about you?’ I have an open book with appropriateness. I share that I'm a member of the queer community, I like to watch this show, my favorite color.

I have done so many CPS reports in my time. I use that approach of, ‘this is because I care about you.’ Sometimes if I'm getting information that might be reportable, I don't make them shut up right away. I want them to tell me more, tell me more of your experience, and know that maybe I'll sit with that for a session, and I'm not going to do anything. Then it might build, and then I'll bring to them because this is a working alliance. And I say,  I'm going to do this CPS report, but what is our goal between me and you?’

I have this rule that I tell them in the beginning, they're the driver, and at the halfway mark, I always check in: ‘How's it going? Do you want to continue? Are you over it today?’ Because otherwise, why are we trying this out for 45 minutes if they're checked out? Might as well just do half the time.

Vidur: Are there other things that you wanted to share about yourself or about working with kids that you think would be relevant?

Siobhan: I know this is an area that a lot of clinicians suffer with. Unfortunately,the context (of working with kids) sometimes is very upsetting, so it's constantly checking in with yourself.

I have this way now where if a child is telling me something that their safety is at risk and something's going on, where I just sit with my feelings and slow down and tell them, ‘okay, let's take a breather.’ Having one safe person in the world is so important to them, so if a kid is not engaging with me, and they don't want to be here, they might just be testing you to see if you will be there because no other adult might be there for them in a safe way. It might take a long time to get their rapport going.


Siobhan Cassidy’s biography

Siobhan Cassidy is a cis-gendered, queer woman, who is a first generation Irish-American. She is a licensed clinical social worker and is licensed in California and New York. Siobhan's specialties include grief and loss, sexual education and sexuality/LGBTQA+ folks, neurodivergent/ADHD struggles, and college/early career support. She has much experience with grief and loss after a decade of work in clinical hospital settings with children and adults.

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Interview with Taylor Barragan, LMFT by Vidur Malik, LMFT, Director at Large

Vidur: Could you please introduce yourself and the work you do?  

Taylor: I'm Taylor Barragan. I am an LMFT and a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner (NP). I work most frequently with conditions like  anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and adult ADHD. I’m primarily working as a therapist right now, but in the summertime I plan to relaunch my practice with an approach including medication management integrated with psychotherapy, as well as complementary interventions and lifestyle recommendations tailored to each patient's unique needs. Personalized treatment will be guided by the patient's history, specific lab results and grounded in evidence-based medicine.

Vidur: What originally inspired the shift to pursue the psychiatric nurse practitioner program?

Taylor:  It was a culmination of things. Around the time I got licensed,  my husband moved to Ohio for nursing school, and I found myself so interested in everything that he was learning. I was asking him so many questions. At some point he was like, ‘you should just go back to school.’ Around that same time, I had a few therapy clients that had tried medication and within a couple of weeks, they were not as anxious and could actually tap into the emotions or insights that they couldn't previously access in session. I realized that was like the missing piece for this client. I wanted to know more - why did a provider make that decision with that medication or how are these other lifestyle things impacting how effective that medication is?

I just really love school too. Part of that I think too is having ADHD myself. School provides a structure, and I like learning. I interviewed some colleagues who were psychiatric nurse practitioners and after researching how I could integrate my background as a therapist, I decided to make the leap.

Vidur:  What type of work do you envision doing with your background in therapy and psychiatry?

Taylor:  I have some clients that would prefer to see one provider for medication management and psychotherapy in an ideal world. What's coming down the line in the summer is relaunching my practice to include medication management.

But if somebody is already working with a therapist and that is established, I would love to be able to better collaborate with therapists and make that a cornerstone of how I practice. I don’t think school provides enough training  on how to collaborate with a patient’s psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner. I also don't think that medical schools or psych NP schools do that very well either. There is often confusion about things like “What cadence should we be talking on? How should that communication go? Who leads that? What are we reinforcing in each other's work because this is our common goal for this client?”

Vidur:  What are some ways clinicians can maintain relationships with psychiatrists and ensure coordination of care?

Taylor: It can be really hard to get a hold of psychiatrists or psych NPs. They may not have a direct number. I think that there's just a natural grittiness to the beginning of even making contact, and that takes a little bit of persistence. That gets difficult too because then you might spending a lot of time trying to get a hold of this person's psychiatrist outside of session that you’re not necessarily getting paid for. So you can reserve that time in the session with the client, because it is really important. You can use one of those sessions as a case consultation with the client there.

You can also talk through the main concerns, what you’re working on, and what would they would like you to reinforce during sessions. Getting an understanding about if that client is prescribed something, why that was the choice, and side effects that you should be looking out for. And if you are noticing that somebody is having side effects, being able to have a secure way to send a message to the provider.

In addition, psychiatric providers may only be seeing a client once a month, and then sometimes down to once every three months. So as the therapist, you're getting way more face-to-face time with that client than the provider is most likely. I don't think that everybody involved oftentimes appreciates just how much insight the therapist has; if somebody's doing well or not.

Also, if somebody is not sleeping well and they are on a medication that can cause issues with sleep. The psychotherapist can ask, ‘Hey, did you talk with your psychiatrist or psych NP? Can you take that in the morning?’ Just understanding how you can play a role in reinforcing things, being able to report back key things that you discussed with the psychiatrist.

Vidur:  It sounds like there is a lot more insight clinicians can provide to psychiatrists than we might realize.

Taylor: So much, like sleep habits and quality, medication compliance, or substance use. If somebody is having side effects from a medication and they don’t like taking it but don't want to tell their psychiatric provider, it’s important to have the conversation with the patient about how important it is to let their provider know. It’s importance to reinforce, “Hey, we’re all on the same team. Your provider should know how you’re feeling about the treatment or they have no way of knowing what is or isn’t working.”

 I think that's where things get really messy. Patients may be on a few different medications, and you can't tell if they've had an adequate trial of one because maybe they weren’t taking it because they were having side effects. If we had a better structure for how the therapist could feel empowered to help monitor and relay some of that information, it would be way less confusing and ultimately lead to better patient outcomes.

Vidur: Are there particular topics related to psychiatry that clinicians should like keep ourselves educated on in order to support our clients?

Taylor: Reducing stigma about medication can start just by referring a patient to a psychiatric provider. Patients trust us as psychotherapists, and reiterating that going to a psychiatric provider does not mean they have to immediately take what is recommended is really important. It just starts the process. I was talking to a psych NP a few weeks ago and she said that she always refers patients to psychotherapy, but not every therapist is willing to refer to psychiatry early on in treatment.

Depending on how severe somebody's symptoms are, early intervention is key. Research shows that for conditions like moderate to severe MDD, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, the longer the delay in treatment, the more treatment resistant they do become. There is also much discussion in the field whether “treatment resistant depression” is actually a case of missed bipolarity, specifically type 2. So for patients who are seeking therapy for mild depression, for example, if symptoms are not improving and instead getting worse, it’s important to refer for an integrative psychiatric medication evaluation.

The other important thing is to remind patients to not start and stop their medication on their own. Again, therapists see the client so much more frequently than a psychiatric provider, so its important to encourage the client to discuss this with their provider and also update the psychiatric provider about any issues with medication consistency. Research on MDD, for example, shows that symptoms should be first treated to remission, and then continued at maintenance with the medication, and psychotherapy, for 6-12 months before tapering (Altamura et al., 2007; Altamura et al., 2008; Kato et al, 202; Paquin et al., 2022). So it’s important for patients to know that for everyone, medication doesn't have to be forever, but it’s really important to decrease stigma about taking medication, reinforce and provide hope for patients, and collaborate with their provider during treatment. Therapists should also be aware of new and exciting emerging treatments like esketamine, and rapid acting antidepressants that are not monoaminergic like conventional antidepressants.

About Taylor

Taylor Barragan, LMFT, PMHNP-BC, APRN, PMH-C is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Board-Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. She earned her Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from Santa Clara University and her Master of Science in Nursing in Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nursing from Case Western Reserve University. She is a member of Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing, Postpartum Support International (PSI), American Nursing Association (ANA), and SV-CAMFT.
With a focus on integrative and holistic treatment, Taylor's telepsychiatry practice, which will launch in Summer 2024, offers medication management, complementary and supplemental therapies, and psychotherapy services for teens and adults. As a Perinatal Mental Health Certified (PSI) provider, she has a particular passion for supporting neurodivergent parents through the perinatal period, from preconception through postpartum. Taylor also earned a certification as a lactation counselor to better understand the mental health impacts of lactation and related challenges during the postpartum period.
Taylor's expertise also extends to executive functioning challenges at work and during the transition to parenthood. Her strengths-based and relational approach integrates psychodynamic and cognitive-based psychotherapies, emphasizing enhancing daily functioning and quality of life. Taylor is committed to providing affirming, culturally competent care tailored to each client's needs.

Recommended resources for therapists:

Psych Meds Made Simple
Handbook of Clinical Psychopharmacology for Therapists
Clinical Psychopharmacology Made Ridiculously Simple

References

Altamura, A. C., B. Dell'Osso, Mundo, E., & L. Dell'Osso. (2007). Duration of untreated illness in major depressive disorder: a naturalistic study. International Journal of Clinical Practice (Esher), 61(10), 1697–1700. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1742-1241.2007.01450.x

Altamura, A. C., B. Dell'Osso, Mundo, E., & L. Dell'Osso. (2007). Duration of untreated illness in major depressive disorder: a naturalistic study. International Journal of Clinical Practice (Esher), 61(10), 1697–1700. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1742-1241.2007.01450.x

Bobo, W. V., & Shelton, R. C. (2010). Efficacy, safety and tolerability of Symbyax® for acute-phase management of treatment-resistant depression. Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics, 10(5), 651–670. https://doi.org/10.1586/ern.10.44
Kato, M., Hori, H., Inoue, T., Iga, J., Iwata, M., Inagaki, T., Shinohara, K., Imai, H., Murata, A., Mishima, K., & Tajika, A. (2021). Discontinuation of antidepressants after remission with antidepressant medication in major depressive disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Molecular psychiatry, 26(1), 118–133. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-020-0843-0

Paquin, V., LeBaron, N., Kraus, G. E., Yung, E. C., Iskric, A., Cervantes, P., Kolivakis, T., Saint-Laurent, M., Gobbi, G., Auger, N., & Low, N. (2022). Examining the association between duration of untreated illness and clinical outcomes in patients with major depressive and bipolar disorders. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports, 8, 100324–100324. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadr.2022.100324

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Interview with Jeremiah Knight, LMFT and host of the Therapy House podcast, and Vidur Malik, Director-at-Large, SCV-CAMFT

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work that you do? 

Jeremiah: I’m Jeremiah Knight. I’m a licensed marriage family therapist heading into my eighth year as a clinician. I graduated from Santa Clara University. I was born and raised in San Jose. I’m very happy to be back in the community. I currently run a private practice here in San Jose, working with parents on child custody and visitation within Santa Clara County. I’m also a podcast host, producer, promoter, man of many hats.

Vidur: In terms of the clinical work that you do, would you say that you have a particular specialization or area of focus? 

Jeremiah: Right now in private practice, I mainly focus on anxiety, depression, and trauma within youth and adults. I’m very fascinated with hearing stories that come from their experiences of adversity and assisting them in finding meaning through it all.

Vidur: In addition to the clinical work that you do, I know you do a lot of multimedia work. Can you share just sort of what projects you currently have going on in the multimedia realm and what drew you to just doing that work? 

Jeremiah: I produce the Therapy House podcast, which is a podcast that focuses on helping professionals as they breakdown their process and philosophy behind their work..

I had done a podcast before on Black mental health. I am really big on educating the population about therapy, especially in the Black community and trying to normalize it. I was able to learn how to develop a podcast, how to market it, all the pieces that went into it. 

Therapy House came in with the same question of how other professionals did their work, what went into it, and what happened behind the scenes. I love the idea because we don't get to see other people do therapy. I wanted to create a space where people could share what went into their craft and be vulnerable enough to get the support they needed. A couple of friends of mine from grad school, Jon Tong, Jorge Meza, Luis Abbott, and Jeremy Ramos were open to the idea. I knew how to set up the podcast and be able to distribute it on all platforms. 

A couple of them had some experience generating or working on a podcast. For the most part, we then began to create something that was unique in the podcast sphere. 

We have an upcoming episode on therapist anxiety, describing the angst within our journey and craft. We've just completed an episode on eating disorders, an episode on the experience of queer and trans clinicians, and many more that I’m really excited to share with listeners. Content and stories that I, myself, have either been curious about or have been waiting to hear. 

Vidur: There are therapy podcasts out there, but it sounds like the thing that makes Therapy House different is just that it takes you behind the scenes on the process from the clinician's perspective. 

Jeremiah: Yeah, the therapist gets a therapist, and there's a mic in front of them. Helping is a growing process and the therapist changes just as much as the client on this journey. Here we illustrate it. If you have an idea or you've been mulling something over or you felt alone in it, you’ve got an opportunity to ask another clinician. 

Vidur: What advice do you have for clinicians, even if they're not necessarily doing a multimedia project, on how to put their name out there and market what they do? 

Jeremiah: Create things. Beyond it being a nice outlet, it adds marketability. Whether it is with a soundbite or video or a clip, or a blog or worksheet, all of that helps clients either find you or at least get what they need in some way. You just have to at least try to put out something. Try to get over the piece of creating that makes you feel uncomfortable. “Create for the joy of creating and sharing it with others” has been a mantra that I've been able to remind myself of on the days where I worked all week, and the last thing I want to do, on a Sunday, is sit in front of a camera.

Vidur: Is there a particular message or idea that you'd want somebody to walk away with after they listen to an episode of Therapy House?

Jeremiah: The initial message was that therapists are human too. There are things that go on behind the scenes. We have personal lives. It's not that we're these all-knowing beings that do everything immaculately. Being able to encourage clinicians and help them to be vulnerable, be open, and to ask “what comes up within you when life outside of therapy is chaotic?” 

Vidur: Thank you so much for your time. Where can people find your podcast?

Jeremiah: People can find us on www.linktr.ee/therapy_house and Instagram at @therapyhousepodcast.

References:

Brown, T. E. (2014). Smart but Stuck: Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD. Jossey-Bass

Davis, P. (2021). Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing. Avide Reader Press

Siegel, D. and Bryson, P. (2021). The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired. Ballentine Books Trade Paperback Edition

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Interview with Ashwini Addala and Liliana Ramos, LMFT, Director-at-Large

Liliana:  Welcome! Can we please start with an introduction of yourself.

Ashwini:  My name is Ashwini Addala; I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist who is a spiritual coach, energy healer, and spiritual seeker, with a practice in downtown Willow Glen where I see adults, families, and couples. My approach with clients is centered around self-discovery, where the Self has many parts and aspects. Self-discovery, or more specifically self-awareness, is a fundamental building block of the healing work we do in sessions.

I specialize in areas of childhood trauma, generational trauma, immigrant issues. My work differs from some other therapeutic modalities because I address the mental self, emotional self, physical self, social self, sexual self, etc., and spiritual self. My approach is about seeing a person for ALL their parts, from across lifetimes and on a path of evolution. I incorporate energy healing, grounding and protection mechanisms and guided journeys (visualizations) with clients. Although I worked with children during my training I found later that working with adults and their inner child resonated with me.  

Liliana:  What made you decide to use spirituality during therapy?

Ashwini:  As a spiritual seeker myself who underwent massive healing and transformation through my own therapy work as well spiritual and energy healing, I saw the connection between the spiritual and therapeutic healing I was doing and the improvement of my mental health. That being said, I made an honest attempt to stay true to traditional therapy but ultimately felt ineffective and inauthentic. As I experimented with slowly incorporating some techniques, I saw how effective and powerful it was, not only for treating depression and anxiety, but also in every aspect of the client’s existence, including their patience levels, their interpersonal skills, their romantic relationships, parenting of their children, and their career and professional success. I soon gained the confidence to break out of the mold of what therapy should be and made it fit to who I was as a person. I began to combine other things, such as energy work like Reiki or MotoKi to teach clients to ground or shield themselves in a different way.  Guided meditations, or journeys, as some people call them are another powerful skill and tool I’ve used to help clients heal things like childhood or generational trauma.

People often confuse spirituality with religion, but it is not necessarily the same. Sometimes spirituality can mean self-awareness or seeing the “bigger picture”. Spirituality is the evolutionary trajectory that you’re on. It holds the assumption that life has meaning, and the spiritual aspirant or in my case, the therapist, helps realign ones self to be in congruence with the big picture and one’s personal meaning or purpose of life. To me, spirituality is the mindset and the evolution of what one is aiming for in life.


Energy work is just a tool, but it isn't spirituality itself. It is just a tool some people use towards their spiritual practice. So it's like a therapist that works on trauma, but is also special, has training in yoga and does yoga-based trauma work. Likewise, a person who works with spirituality can use crystals and stones, chant mantras, use dance and movement, sing songs, or practice meditation or mindfulness, etc. When we talk about spirituality is, we can get it confused with the tools. We need to remember that the actual journey of life is the spirituality.

Liliana:  We've had numerous tumultuous years, politically and race -wise, COVID, world politics and wars. How can spirituality help as we end the year and begin a new one?  

Ashwini:  This is a wonderful time of year to take stock of our goals and desires for our lives and be actively engaged in becoming realigned with them. If we want to build a particular type of business, ask your self, “what am I doing that is aligned with building said business, and what is blocking, sidetracking, sabotaging or distracting you from this goal?” Then, with much grace and leeway we realign, adjust, and trim so that we are back on track. It is important to remember that we are in the middle of the journey and not at the end, so even if there are setbacks and detours, it’s okay. We’re not done yet. There is no judgment day.

Liliana: People might have had a crazy year personally.  How do you say your goodbyes to this year so that you can open up to a clean slate in the new year?

As we close out the year, we can look at the goals that we've set for how we want our lives to look, what we want to acheive, and what kind of experiences we want to have. We just take stock, compassionately, slowly, gently, asking, “what have I been able to accomplish and where do I still need to work on it?”

Liliana: Why do you think this is important work?

Ashwini:  This is such important work because it helps people redirect their entire life into being a conscious active participant who is living the life of their dreams now, not just not the present experience one is having. Not just surviving the present moment but thriving. It is important because whether or not we are aware of it or care for it, we are all on a spiritual journey. It is an essence of the human existence and we get to choose whether we engage and drive the boat or be swept up by the waves and tides.

Liliana: What would be the takeaway for a therapist reading this article?

Ashwini:  To try and incorporate some questions about clients’ spiritual orientation into therapy because these are really fundamental existential things that people consciously or subconsciously follow. If someone believes that there is a hell or that there are demonic possessions, that is a good indication of how they function in the world and what their moral compass is made of.

Some questions to ask:

1. What is your spiritual or religious orientation? Some folks may need more prodding with more specific questions about their relationship with the universe or God or a higher power. There is no right answer, it just helps to understand a client’s orientation in their world. It’s also informative if someone says that there’s no belief in a higher power.

2. What do you think is the purpose or your purpose in life?

3. If your life were to end tomorrow/month/year/etc, what do you want to make sure you accomplish so you don’t have regrets?

4. What do you believe happens after death?

5. How do you feel about death? About life?

Liliana:  Ashwini, thank you for this inspiring interview.  Thank you for sharing with us that as we end the year, it is a good time to look at the meaning of our life; reflecting on what we want in our life as we evolve as spiritual beings.  

I'm Ashwini, a psychotherapist and energy healer. With a deep-rooted belief in the power of holistic healing, I've spent over a decade helping individuals find healing, well-being and themselves.
My journey in the healing arts has led me to study and practice various modalities, including Reiki, chakra balancing, and mindfulness meditation in addition to other proven evidenced-based healing techniques such as CBT and DBT. I'm passionate about guiding my clients on their path to self-discovery and thriving, helping them tap into their own inner wisdom and abundance.

My work is not just a profession; it's a calling. I'm here to support clients in their quest for physical, emotional, mental and spiritual harmony. When I'm not facilitating psychotherapy or reiki healing sessions, you can find me connecting with nature or making art with my family.

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