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Interview with Gia Reyes, LMFT by Vidur Malik, LMFT, Director at Large

Vidur: Could you introduce yourself and the work you do, along with any specialties:

Gia: My name is Gia Reyes, I'm a first-generation immigrant and LMFT. I specialize in immigration-related mental health issues such as cultural and generational conflicts, migration trauma like the sense of losing one's identity, culture and traditions, and intergenerational trauma, especially for second or third-generation clients or clients with refugee lineage.

Vidur: What motivated you to specialize in working with clients who are experiencing immigration-related mental health issues?

Gia: Being an immigrant myself and knowing how overwhelming and anxiety-provoking moving to another country can be, I really felt that my life experiences and academic learnings provided me a unique lens through which I could assist similar immigrants make some sense of their new life. First-generation immigrants of a certain age have usually lived a ‘life’ in their country of origin and have ‘paid their dues’ in a certain industry, only to find themselves unable to practice in the US due to lack of accreditation or licensing. That alone can cause severe depression and anxiety, even an existential crisis.

Also, having lived here for a few years in my early 20s as a foreign student, I became acutely aware of the huge difference in my experience then and coming back in my early 40s with two kids below the age of 10. It is really fascinating how as an immigrant you experience the same place very differently at different stages of your life.

As a mom, I suddenly found myself doubling down on making sure my kids understood the Filipino language, ate Filipino food and ensured they were aware of the culture, beliefs and traditions, if not adhere to them. Having had the privilege of being able to travel at a young age and being exposed to different cultures, it was still very jarring to have to raise children with very different metrics from what I knew as a child. I knew that for a lot of immigrants, who probably also had a language barrier to hurdle besides the disparity in cultures, the challenges could turn overwhelming on a dime. I was sure that there were so many immigrants who needed help.

Vidur: Do you find that there are commonalities in the immigrant experience, regardless of where in the world you're immigrating from?

Gia: That's such an interesting question because a lot of immigrants come from collectivist cultures where you basically move as a ‘tribe’, and the goals and well-being of the group at large is oftentimes given more priority than individual goals. Then you come to the US, and it's a very individualistic culture, and the second and third-generation family members experience so much internal conflict because of the opposing views of family vis-a-vis American society.

Yes, I've discovered that there are so many commonalities with immigrants regardless of where in the world they come from. Then as you peel away layers, you start to see the nuances of a specific culture.

I have a lot of clients who, whether first, second or third-generation immigrants, experience and/or inflict intergenerational trauma to the next generation, that my mind is truly blown away. And as I’m sure most immigrant therapists have experienced, there is a unique advantage to having that lived experience of growing up in another culture, especially a collectivist culture. There is an innate understanding of certain ‘rules’, such as unquestioned reverence for elders and how it is almost incomprehensible to go against what the family has always believed in or done, even if your Western mind knows, ‘this is so toxic.’

Vidur: In your experience, how do clients figure out how to preserve their cultural identity from where they lived before while adjusting to where they're living now?

Gia: I try to introduce the idea of the “third identity,” as renowned Indian-American psychoanalyst Salman Akhtar has very brilliantly coined - because it is really a “third identity.”

I still recall what a Peruvian professor of mine in grad school said, “I feel more American when I’m in Peru and I feel more Peruvian when I’m in the US.” It blew my mind because it totally resonated with me! There is this sense of not fully belonging anywhere, of being in some space that is unknown. . . a space with no label. Hence the need to ‘integrate’ all the parts of ‘you’, to have trust and confidence in this “third identity.” That is your core and authentic self.

Almost organically, I have leaned into the therapeutic modalities of Internal Family Systems, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Trauma-focused Therapy.

Vidur: What would you say are the best ways for clinicians to ensure that clients who have recently immigrated to the US feel safe in session and feel fully seen and heard?

Gia: I think that in most cases, especially for new immigrants, it is a better fit to find an immigrant therapist. Just because intuitively, an immigrant therapist would know how to address sensitive topics that a non-immigrant therapist may not deem so, and also know the stigma that therapy might have in the client’s country of origin.

I would recommend listening for a couple of sessions, just asking questions and refrain from giving any opinion until you have done some research into the particular culture. Luckily, we live in the Bay Area where the population is so diverse that it is not a stretch to find resources on practically every ethnicity in the world.

Vidur: What has your experience been like in terms of finding your own identity after your immigration experience?

Gia: It has not been an easy road for me either, let me start with that! I had a thriving business in the Philippines but because of the political and economic uncertainty then, I felt the need to seize an opportunity that presented itself, to establish a life with my kids in North America.

Then after my divorce, I seriously thought of going back to the Philippines but my kids, who at that point had spent more than half their lives in the US, were basically opting to stay here. The Asian mom in me kicked in, because I wasn’t going to leave them alone here! And that is when I had to really assess and determine what I wanted to do ‘for the rest of my life.’

So I decided to go back to graduate school, get licensed as a psychotherapist, go into private practice and hopefully help other people, particularly immigrants, find happiness and joy in their life. I want to think that my “third act” is also my way of manifesting the idea that ‘older’ immigrants can reinvent themselves. It takes a lot of gumption, but I believe all immigrants have that.

Gia Reyes is a LMFT in private practice. . . she is also a mom, writer, foodie, avid gardener and energy healer. In her mid-fifties, she decided to pursue a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and took on the daunting task of 3,000 hours of internship, getting licensed as her sixth decade was approaching. Gia is a firm believer that her lived experiences of being an entrepreneur, consultant for several multinationals, living in different countries and just “bouncing back when necessary,” greatly complements therapeutic modalities like Internal Family Systems, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, DBT and ACT.

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