Stories are important in our lives. We gain a sense of ourselves through narratives the telling of stories to self and others about what happened to us. Identities form through integrating family histories with cultural legends and myths. However, when our stories become sad, rigid, and repetitive, they may become the subject matter of therapy. An understanding of the dynamics represented in the journey of the fairy tale heroine or hero that leads them from misery to their highest realization, may reveal means for helping psychotherapy clients.
An exploration of fairy tales has long held special value for psychotherapy. Psychoanalysts such as Freud, Rank, and Jung, among others, looked to fairy tales and myths to represent the anatomy of the psyche. Close scrutiny of fairy tales patterns contemporary psychological perspectives as family systems, object relations, and cognitive frameworks can still yield new insights. Because fairy tales and myths follow the heroine or hero as they go through periods of darkness to transformation, classic stories encode patterns that enable the restoration of vibrant functioning. Like fairy tale protagonists, psychotherapy clients often begin a journey from a black mood of depression or personal crisis, onto a new path. Ultimately, through encounters with significant others and confrontation of challenging circumstances, both protagonist and therapy client, may be led to higher development. Cinderella encounters the fairy Godmother, and Snow White finds the dwarves. From a psychodynamic perspective, the harsh introjects formed from the poor treatment in the family are given a chance to heal through the compassionate responses of others. This is the same process that occurs in therapy: As the therapist responds with empathy, the patient learns to respond more kindly to herself.
Therapist and client tell and retell, and interpret and reinterpret, the story of the client. Both clients and heroes have typically had difficulties in the family of origin: they have often suffered child abuse, shame and humiliation, parental rejection and /or abandonment. In place of a nurturing caretaker, they must live with a tormentor. For example, Cinderella had a wicked stepmother and evil stepsisters. Snow White had a cruel stepmother who plotted to murder the beautiful girl in order to end the competition the girl's beauty posed to her fading beauty. Chance may also contribute to the woes of the protagonist. For example, in The Girl Without Hands, the father unwittingly makes a pact with the devil that ends in the sacrifice of his daughter's hands. In this story, the father dwells in poverty. His poorness can be viewed as a metaphor for a lack of emotional strength that can lead an actual father or mother to abuse a daughter or son. If a child is perceived by a parent as a potential resource to satiate his or her own unmet needs, then that child's development, like the hands in the story, may be sacrificed in the service of parental deficiency. Psychological wounding, such as symbolically expressed by the father in the fairy tale who destroyed his daughter's hands, is often at the core of psychotherapeutic treatment. In real life, dehumanization has murdered the souls of countless individuals who live tragic lives. A disturbing family casts a spell. Therefore, deeper understanding of the journey of the heroine, wherein she is resilient and eventually thriving, may illuminate pathways out of anguish for those suffering. Heroines are never defeated by the abuse. The more Cinderella and Snow White are victimized by cruel others, the more sympathy they elicit. By encouraging clients who have been abused to identify with fairy tale heroines, the therapist may help them to attain empathy for themselves.
Psychological healing is often associated with the mastery of positive, cognitive reframes of disturbing situations. Fairy tales, with their powerful imagery of the protagonist as she overcomes destructive forces through creative action, lend themselves easily to the creation of new stories about the defeat of depression and anxiety. As the protagonists survive the dark forest, and its attendant perils destroy the witch or wicked stepmother, their resilience strengthens. The hero or heroine models one who struggles, yet eventually succeeds, by taking potent action, and by their example, may stimulate others to do the same. “Heroines are never defeated by the abuse. The more Cinderella and Snow White are victimized by cruel others, the more sympathy they elicit. “ The factor that enables abused children to transcend bad treatment, and to live successful lives, was a “caring other”. Classic stories contain these deep truths. Sociologist Lillian Rubin, has shown in her book, The Transcendent Child, that an experience with a supportive person outside the family is the factor that determines successful adaptation. The use of fairy tales as reframes enables clients to view difficulties as prerequisites for change. Life is unjust, yet compassion may lead to escape from pain. Contrast the beginning of the story of The Ugly Duckling, wherein "The ducks bit him, the hens pecked him, and the girl who fed him kicked him aside..." Even his mother said "I wish...you were miles away," with the ending wherein "He thought of how he had been... scorned, and now he was the most beautiful of all birds."
Bette U. Kiernan, MFT is a psychotherapist in private practice in Palo Alto, where she works with individuals, couples and groups. She has widely taught the Meanings of Fairy Tales. She has twice presented her work at MIT’s International Conference on Media in Transition.
Author: Bette U. Kiernan, MFT
