Goodbyes

What happens when you leave,
when you have to say “good-bye”?
You’re choosing to go.
No-one is making you.
You’re excited about
what’s next -
the new thing
or the freed-up time.

But you haven’t figured in
the pain,
the heartbreak.
You’re leaving a longtime thing,
a familiarity.
You’re leaving
your dreams of what could be,
your experience of what is,
your vision for the future.
All that ends
with the good-bye.

But beyond the thing
is the people,
those lovely people!
You’re leaving a family.
No longer
the close contact,
the jokes,
the wows and the fails.
You’re saying good-bye.

You promise you’ll keep in touch
maybe you will,
maybe not,
but you know
it’s not the same.
It will be something else,
a different connection,
diluted.

And yet
there are always good-byes.
And, of course,
beginnings too—
that thrill of something new,
something better?
something to look forward to.

You hold both together—
Inscrutable Change—
the looking-forward-to
and the sadness.
That’s where you sit.


Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time.

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