by Edna Wallace, LMFT

Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time.
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by Edna Wallace, LMFT 

Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time.

Oranges, Purples, Lavender

This is it …
The oranges,
The ambers.
It’s all incredible! 
Swirling …
Like nothing else.
I’m seeing hugs in green,
Kisses in yellow.
There’s a rainbow of everything—
All that’s good and pure.

I’m in love with Claire,
I’m in love with you.
I’m in love with the swirls.

You, with the white beard …
You Santa Claus?
Santa Claus in the summer.
That’s funny.
Are you okay, bro?
You look blue.
Get it?
Blue.
Meaning down.
Did you know you’re awesome?

Lavender water swirls, dancing.
So cool.
Like purple rain.
He was so cool.
I could lie here forever
Listening to his songs.

What do you think, pink lady?
You in florescent pink.
Like the hospital women visiting mom—
When she was gasping,
Sobbing,
Dying.

It’s all no good.
She left me too soon.

I’m so sad.
I could cry forever.

I want to jump
Into the lavender sky
To be with mom.

I’ve just got to feel it.
I’ll sob …
Like she sobbed
When she hurt so much.
It’s all bad.

All the colors
Are bad.
I’ll be really quiet.
Maybe I’ll disappear

In one of the swirls.

Back to Summer 2021 Newsletter

by Edna Wallace, LMFT

Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time.

Hunger

Hunger for connection:
to be seen,
to be heard.

Noticed.
Witnessed.
Cherished.

To make contact...
for one minute
(45 seconds)
or half an hour.

The fulfillment.
The completion.

Wanting more...
ongoing.

How much would be enough?
A weekend?
A week?
A month?
You don't know.

What is it you need from these others
(strangers to you just an hour ago)?

Their encouragement.
Their excitement.
Their interest.
Their resonance.

One person's approval,
admiration,
acceptance.
An honest reaction (even annoyance).
Love.

All the feelings that come up
(which are normal to feel).
You're allowed to feel them;
no squelching,
denying,
forgetting.

Just an expanse of space,
quiet, accepting.

A container
to hold it all.
So that you can drink
from the milk
of being human
among humans.

by Edna Wallace, LMFT

Back to Spring 2021 Newsletter

What’s Really Important

As a quasi-CBT, quasi-object relations-informed therapist working in the Zoom age, I have to consider what’s really important. Will the room look too bare with a chair in the background and one pot plant? No, that’s good. Can clients see that I have a bed in the room? That would be a “yes” … one side of the bed is just peeking inside the camera range. I rearrange the camera to point away from the bed. I’m a bit lopsided now, but at least there’s no bed. Can clients see that I placed a fan in front of the plant yesterday? Shoot, yes. What will they make of the fan—a new item in the room? How will they feel about the fact that it’s a Honeywell fan? That it’s yellow? Sheesh. A bit risky. Will the noise interfere? Better to turn off the fan and hide it out of sight of the camera. But I have to turn on the light. That will raise the temperature another 10 degrees. No fan, lights on. Let’s see…  what associations will my clients have with sweat pouring down my face? Or with my hand rising up to wipe off said sweat from my neck and off my chin? Will that propel Joe* into giving me the latest sexy interlude with his new partner? Geez. Maybe I should keep the fan going; that would drown out the details at least. I carefully consider my options, the pros and the cons, before my first client, before it gets too hot. I take a cool shower, turn off the fan, hide the fan, and start the Zoom session. “How are you today, Joe?” I ask him quietly.

*Made-up name

back to the Winter 2020 Newsletter

by Edna Wallace, LMFT

Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time. She can be reached at www.ednawallace.com

back to Fall 2020 Newsletter

by Edna Wallace, LMFT

Edna Wallace, LMFT, is a long-time therapist at El Camino Hospital working in the Adult Mood Program for Depression and Anxiety and the OATS program for older adults. She has a private practice in Los Altos. She worked for a decade on the Luncheon Committee for SCV-CAMFT and has been a luncheon presenter as well. Edna is an avid writer in her spare time.

Pandemic Therapy

I see no reason why I’ve been locked out of the second bedroom. I don’t disturb anyone. I’d just sit on my orange towel on the bed and listen to Mom, just like I do when they have their movies going. Mom’s talking to people; I guess it’s called counseling. It’s very interesting hearing about these marriage problems and these kids not doing well and folks challenged by negative thoughts. I have negative thoughts too. Like right now. I’m unhappy with Mom and Dad. What Mom tells her clients can help me too. So when Mom closes the door, I’m going to let her know that’s not okay: “Meow!” Dad scurries over, whispering “shhhh.” He picks me up and drops me in the living room. He’s telling me to be quiet. But I go back outside that door. I meow once more. Here comes Dad, running towards me. He whispers “you gotta be quiet, don’t disturb Mommy.” Back on the living room rug I land. I glare at Dad. This time, I’m going somewhere else. Somewhere close. I enter Mom and Dad’s room, right at the corner, where I can peek around and see the closed door of the second bedroom. I’m quiet, since meowing doesn't help. I can just make out Mom’s voice. She has that gentle tone she uses when she cuddles me. I can’t hear her client. What a bummer! But it’s better than nothing. I settle down to listen for the minutes left of the session. I really don’t understand why I can’t be there. Just another disappointment….

Signed, 

Hobbes

On the other hand...

In contrast to Hobbes’ intense interest in his mom’s therapy sessions, Millie (left photo) is blissfully unaware of the therapy when she is in the room with her mom, Rowena Dodson, LMFT, sleeping with her transitional object.

back to Fall 2020 Newsletter